Change? No thanks.

This blog has become more sporadic than daily, but hopefully this summer, I will start blogging daily again.
So yesterday was the last day of school. Ever year at the first day of school, I agonize over the dreadful months to come of school and can only dream of the last day of school where I will be free to sleep in and lounge at home until my heart's content. However, I feel quite differently at the end of the school year. I only wish to go back to that first day of school and appreciate the school year to come, but that never happens. I do not think that I have gone a school year without saying, 'this is the worst week of my life' or 'this is the worst day of my life'. Thinking back on some of those weeks and days, they truly were not that bad. Some weeks deserved that saying more than others, but maybe it was just us being dramatic when we felt stressed.
So sophomore year is over and I still cannot believe it. It felt like yesterday that the scorching hot heat on the first day of school was killing us and all we wanted was to crawl back into bed. It felt like just yesterday when formal was all we could talk about and who was going with who. This school year zoomed right by, and I never expected it to be over so quickly. I do not really know how I would sum up this school year.
Maybe it is just me, but I think change is one of the worst things EVER. That sounds really dramatic. haha. Honestly, I have hated change ever since I was little. Even when I knew it was for the better, I never like to make changes. For instance, taking new classes next year. I have had, and still am, struggling over the decision to take APUSH or AP Chinese. I wish someone would make me take the classes without me choosing, because if I make the mistake of taking the class that is going to overwhelm me, who do I have to blame besides me. It is so much easier for me to say, 'gosh, why did the school have to put me in this class', rather than saying, 'gosh, why did I choose this class'.
Yesterday was the the strangest last day of school I have had. I wish people had not left early. I had fun with Danny and Athena playing with cups and rings. We wanted to originally turn off the lights and play hide-and-seek, but we thought that might be a little bit too dangerous. It did not feel like the last day of school. No one was sad, no one cried, and it was not hot. Even though those are the worst components that make up the last day of school, they are what actually make it feel like the last day of school. Maybe it is because we know we are gonna see each other in a couple days when we head for New York, so maybe we will feel sad when we come back and it truly hits us how long it will be when we see each other again.
I cannot believe that next year we are going to be juniors. We seem to be getting so old, so fast. Sometimes I wish I could just freeze time in order to savor the moment.

Finally.

After months of dreading May 9, it is finally over. I do not think that I have ever felt so accomplished before. I was so jittery and nervous before the test, but when it was finally over and we were dismissed, I don't think I have ever seen a happier and relieved group of students. However, I cannot believe that we have finished our first AP class. I remember thinking in middle school that I had all the time in the world to slack off before things get real for college, but I'm starting to realize that there really is no more time to slack off. Everything we do now in school really does matter.
The really strange thing is that I have dreaded Euro for more than three-quarters of the school year, but recently when I started to review, I realized how interesting history really is. I never imagined that I would every say that after AP Euro. But looking at history in perspective, seeing how all the events before the French Revolution led to a bloody revolution and how all the countries in Europe manage to engage themselves in World War I is pretty fascinating stuff. Hopefully, sitting through what we thought were hours of dreadful lecture and nearly pulling out all of our hair the night before the exam paid off. I guess we will find out in July.

Time.

Lately, I have been realizing how important time is. Sometimes, it seems like I have so much, but then it is all gone before I know it. There are so many times that I wish I just had more, like 24 hours in one day is just not enough. Even though I am just 15 years old, I feel like I am already so old. This year felt like it zoomed right past me, and it is just crazy that the school year is almost over. It really did feel like yesterday that we were complaining about how long the school year felt, and now when it is almost over, I am realizing that it was not long at all, in fact, it was quite short.

My Passion.

hmm...Blogger has kinda died after Spring Break. Maybe it was just a phase, or maybe we are just too busy. I wish I had more time to blog, but it seems like school is just eating up all of my time. Actually, I think I am just wasting it all.

The other day, Melissa and I were talking about our passion. We both want to do something that will make a difference, but it is kinda hard because who will actually listen or trust teenagers to try to make a change. Or, it could just be the excuse that teenagers use because they do not want try to make a difference. So, I am wondering what I could possibly do. Melissa said how she wanted to stop abortion, but that, along with many others, are such touchy subjects that we would probably never even be allowed to work with those topics. But, I want to do something that focuses on a social issue.
Off the top of my head:

• Getting involved at an elderly home. There is one literally down the street from my house, but I don't know if they accept volunteers.
• Working with other teens that are going through personal issues such as depression or eating disorders.
• Working with pregnant teens that have nowhere else to go, like their parents have kicked them out of the house, and helping them realize that they do have more options than they think they have.
  

I really want to find this passion at least before the end of summer. Actually, I want to find this passion by the beginning of summer, that way, I can try to do something in the summer that relates to it.