Discovering Me.

Like nearly everyone else, this summer, I did a summer program at Berkeley. I could not imagine how much I would possibly learn from the ten days that I was there. The most valuable things that I learned were lessons that I was not anticipating. Overall, NSLC is about leadership and teaching students to have leadership, and for my session, it was learning leadership in the medical field. Learning about how to take initiative and charge when it comes to doing what is best for the patient.
We had lectures on medical ethics, forensics, and toxicology. We partook in medical simulations with our patients, who would prove to be the most difficult patients that we could possibly encounter, and still within those ten days, we managed to squeeze in trips to UCSF, the J.D. Gladstone Institute, and even a fun trip to Pier 39.
The first day proved to be a challenge as I felt homesick. I know I live 10 minutes away and could have call home anytime and could have seen them anytime I wanted. My dad literally works a 5 minute drive from my dorm. Regardless, the feeling of not being home bugged me, but it turned out to be first day jitters from being surrounded by so many people that I didn't know. At CCS, I am constantly surrounded by people that I am familiar with, and this was just a change of pace.
After leaving my family, I went to my dorm to settle in, and I chatted with my roommate. To define her as the complete opposite of me is the understatement of the year. I thought in my head, there is no way that I will be able to coexist with her because she is so different, ethically, morally, emotionally. She was just different. Then I talked to her that first night, and we managed to hit it off.
Then I met my TA group. We were all so different, but we learned to work together and become like a family. We bickered like family and worried like family when members were late. They came from states all over the world, and talking to them felt like exploring a new world because of how much they differ from California. I just felt so sheltered.
Surprisingly, my biggest lesson came from my leadership workshops and not the medical meetings. I learned about how leadership isn't about always taking charge, it is about finding the best solution to each problem. It isn't about winning, it is about listening and discussing. It is about trying and reaching. That may sound cheesy, but it really is.
Leadership is about trying something new and stepping out of your comfort zone. The entire week and a half was about just that. Our games challenged us to step out of our comfort zone. Even the shyest people stepped out of their comfort zones during our Ride the Donkey game. When the TAs suggested the game and said that it would be embarrassing, I became wrought with fear to the possibility of embarrassing myself in front of strangers. As I soon came to realize, it was more fun to actually try than to sit out. The game required riding an imaginary donkey, and then dancing to the beat of "FRONT FRONT FRONT, FRONT BABY; BACK BACK BACK, BACK BABY; SIDE SIDE SIDE, SIDE BABY" with a stranger.
All the activities made me realize more than ever that there are so many people that will not always have the same beliefs, style, or personality as me, but I can still get a long with every single person. There is never an instance where I can't. I just need to find it if I don't see it. I also learned about stepping out of my boundaries because I can never be a leader if I stay within my comfort zone.
A leader tries, even if they may fail because every failure builds a stronger leader.

It's the End Yet Again.

So it marks another last day of school. Yet, I feel no different. I do not feel older. I do no feel more mature. I do not feel like top dog in high school. I do not feel excited. It just seems like everything just is. Like it is just happening all too fast.
I'm sure I felt like this last year too. I just can't imagine life without high school. Gossiping about the latest couple. Fighting with your friends. Arguing about petty things. Being cliquey even though we all want to get rid of cliques. Where else can you do all that? Well, I guess you can do that when you are older, but it just doesn't seem right.
Maybe there is something about Senior year that I will discover next year. Maybe it is just as exciting and thrilling as everybody makes it seem. Maybe I will only appreciate it in a year when I write the exact same post about how an era in our lives has ended. Maybe I won't be as dramatic.
I guess we will just have to appreciate the moment because after next year I won't even have another high school year to reminisce about.

I'm the Richest Man on Earth

NOT! I am probably the furthest thing from the richest man on Earth, but during these economic times where everyone cringes at the thought of the stock market falling just a few more points and shudders at the thought of their retirement fund, I have been wondering, what does it feel like to be the richest man or Earth, or at least to rank in the top 10?
What does it feel like to be Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, the Rockefellers, or the Vanderbilts? Even Donald Trump will do. Just to live life for a day where money is not an issue and where my last name will reap benefits that no average person has ever amassed sounds good to me. That just seems absolutely delightful. I would like to walk into a room with a last name that will turn heads. Then again, do I really want everything to come so easily? A part of me says yes, but another part of me would want to work for what I earn.
So returning to my original point, how would it feel to not have to worry about money during these economic times? Bill Gates and Warren Buffet both have millions if not billions in their bank accounts and a net worth of more than I will ever make in my lifetime. In my head, I just don't see what you can do with all that money, but I know that they have both worked hard to build their wealth. Anywho, of course both men have not been immune to the recession, and Gates even faces the possibility of having layoffs at Microsoft. Yeah, his Microsoft stock may dip a bit, but when it all comes down to it at the end of the day, he still has millions in his bank account. Yes, I know that losing a few million dollars in the span of a few days is a lot, and is quite frankly enough to make my head spin, but I would just want to know how it feels to not have that worry about money.
It isn't that I feel bitter or jealous that they have more money than I do, even though they do, but it is that I wonder about their feeling of security. How does it feel to know that regardless of how the economy twists and turns, you will still be financially secure?
On another note, how good would it make you feel to know you are the richest man on the planet? As selfish as it might sound, I know that it would make me feel good.

An Era of Change

Today was the Inauguration of Barack Obama, and I have to say that today just feels so positive. Maybe it is because it is history in the making, maybe it is because he is the new president, but it just felt so different. Bush has been president for exactly 50% of my life, so I can't really remember anyone else as president. Even though I am not criticizing the last president, I am saying that there are a lot of problems out there, and America has a long recovery ahead of her, but it seems like, today, everyone was willing to come together and just celebrate. There was no economy, there was no war, there was no animosity. It was just a good feeling that America has not felt in a long time and I think it was long overdue.
The word hope and change seems like it has been overused in more ways that one, but I can't help but feel hopeful for some type of change. It seems like America is looking up for once in a long time, and I can't help but smile.

Where Has the Time Gone?

So today officially marks the first day of 2009. Time for new beginnings and new resolutions. It seems like every year everyone strives to make a fresh start and be a better person, and I am one of those people. However, I never seem to follow through on my resolutions. Oh well, at least I will have resolutions for 2010.
It is strange. It is 2009. Everytime I hear that, I feel so old. This year, we are turning 17, we are taking SATs, and next year, WE ARE GRADUATING. We always say to ourselves that we are still lightyears away from graduation, but that isn't true anymore. Soon we are all going to be going our separate ways for college. Doesn't that just sound so scary? It seems like 2008 just whized right by, and it still feels like 2008.
Is it me, or is time passing by very quickly?

Long Time No See.

I really can't remember that last time that I could sit down and not think about school or anything revolving about it. School is just consuming our lives so much right now that I think it is pure madness. It is insane. I remember hearing the older grades complain about how AP Bio was death, and they were not kidding. It is KILLER. This past week was crazy, and we haven't even begun to prepare for AP exam stuff yet. Just that one class consumes nearly my whole day.
On another note, November 4th is just around the corner. Maybe it was because I was a lot younger and didn't really understand politics, but I swear when I was younger, there was not as much hype as there is in this election. Then again, I thought the Olympics were like nothing 4 years ago. There seems to be so much going on in this election, and there is so much media attention on everything. The SNL parodies, huge celebrity endorsements, and the whole 'Rock the Vote' campaign. In a way, I personally think those celebrity endorsements for a certain candidate is a bad thing. Media has this way of swaying a crowd to do anything, and it doesn't really cause a person to think about who they are voting for and why. Some people would just vote for a person because their favorite celebrity is voting for them.
Also, there is the Prop 8 situation. I mean seriously, I never thought that America would have to come to this decision. I know that many people want gay rights legalized, but aren't they forgetting that America was built on Christian principles. Now they want to change the constitution and expand the definition of marriage? Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with wanting to protect your own rights. And I am not against suppressing the rights of gays/lesbians, but I think the fact that Prop 8 even has to be proposed is just wrong. Seriously, what has America come to? Like Mrs. Carlson said in class, I respect however they want to live and whatever they want to do, and they can have a domestic partnership that is recognized by the law, but it cannot be qualified as a "marriage". I think that is a sacred term that only applies to a man and woman, and it should definitely not be changed.
I am really afraid as to what is going to happen if Prop 8 is voted against. There seems to be so much media that says that saying yes on Prop 8 is wrong, and that influences so much of America. I am so afraid of the United States falling apart because we have proven ourselves to be very unstable right now. I think if people don't vote yes on Prop 8, it really will signify the beginning of the end for the United States. That may sound so dramatic, but if people vote no on Prop 8, who know what kind of laws they are going to want to change later on.

Time To Do It All Over Again.

So summer ended this week and school started. This summer I fretted about how terrible the school year was going to be and how it was going to be stressful, but it has surpassed my expectations so far. Seeing everyone back at school again and seeing friends between classes is what makes it truly feel like school again. The strange thing is that it feels like we never left school. It feels like we just went on Spring Break and are finally coming back to school. Maybe it is because this year, teachers do not spend the entire first week going into logistics and procedures, they just go over it briefly and dive right into learning. In a way, it is nice that we do not have to go through that dreaded first week of school feeling and making that terrible adjustment from summer to school. I am kinda excited to see what this school year will bring and what will happen, but I am also terrified to see what will come this year. All the standardized tests and maintaining good grades for college is just too overwhelming to think about.